Why am I so determined to get back into Genshin Impact?

My relationship with Genshin Impact has always been a rocky one. I started off hating the game after my first four hours of playing and put it down for two months, I then gave it another try and once I got through the rough first part, I began to enjoy it. After what felt like years of playing, I put the game down in September of 2022, right before Sumeru came out, due to major life changes like moving and changing jobs.

I took a break and didn’t think about going back, I wanted to give myself time to miss the game that I once enjoyed so much, but near the end, started to feel like a chore. After getting settled in my new apartment, I tried to get back into the game. I downloaded Genshin on my new PC, opened up the game, and was set to explore this new region. It was huge and I was a little overwhelmed with how much area I was going to have to search. After only a few minutes, I felt bored. I had so badly wanted to get back into the game, but I had found a few chests, a few new enemies, and explored a town, but I didn’t want to do any of the quests. I dreaded starting the new Archon quest because I heard it took hours (no joke, someone told me it was 12-14 hours long). And I just do not have the attention span for something like that.

So after that failed first attempt, I kept trying over the next few months. I would try to jump on for events when my friends who were still playing would mention them. I even did a short YouTube video as an experiment on “Can the WindBlume Event Can Get Me Back Into Genshin?” And it couldn’t.

So, why am I so determined to get back into this game that I seem to hate?

Well, I’m not so sure myself. I enjoyed roaming the world, and I thought the character designs were beautiful. I think I just don’t want to miss out on the new characters and regions (even though I didn’t even explore Sumeru for more than an hour). And I really want to know the lore of the lands and the story of the characters, but I just can’t sit through reading a light novel to get the information (especially when the dialog is so dense and boring, and Paimon will more likely than not just retell me everything I read).

In the end, I don’t think I want to play Genshin Impact. I do not miss playing the game itself, I miss the experiences that I had in the early days of playing when I would log on and play with my friends over Discord. We could have fun just running around the world and doing resin runs together. Playing on my own feels like grinding and after playing other games, I no longer feel like I’m having fun.

I miss the game that I picture in my head when I think of Genshin Impact. I want to have a game where I can get pretty characters, make them strong, and explore a gorgeous world with a unique theme.

In recent weeks, I have come to terms that I should let go of the dream that I have for the game, I should focus on the hundreds of other games that I have in my backlog, and lay to rest the good memories that I already have with Genshin Impact.